Death on the Rise

If you are a relative of a college student, be forewarned, your imminent death may be just around the corner. That’s right it is that time of year again, it is time for midterm exams and e-mails of dead relatives are prevalent. This is an amazing phenomenon that occurs repeatedly four times per year, twice during fall semester and twice during spring semester. Oddly always coinciding with either midterm or final exam due dates.

It always amazes me as to the timing of the grim reaper. What devious plot does he serve when he decides to take the lives of the relatives of college students? He never seems to strike during the first several weeks of a semester or in the weeks immediately following the midterm exams. It seems that college student’s relatives are only ill-fated during the tumultuous weeks of midterm and final exams. An uncanny coincidence I am sure, one which should be a warning to anyone who is related to a college student. If I were one of these relatives I would ask for a copy of the student’s schedule of classes so I would know when I should be most vigilant and wary of the possibility of the grim reaper coming to my doorstep.

You can’t say I didn’t warn you; make sure your affairs are in order and your will is up-to-date, because if you are related to a college student who is facing a midterm or final exam deadline your days are numbered. Your obituary will be written with tears in their eyes and the tragic impact your death has had on even your least known collegiate relative will be shared with college professors everywhere.

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